Up and Down

This Week's Loss: +1 lb
Total Loss: 8.4 lbs

I know it's later than usual, but I decided to tear myself away from "Unblock Me" (ever played this game...SUPER addicting) and post my weekly update. To do so requires a quick review of last week's post...

Review:

Potentially devastating medical news = TERRIBLE food decisions + SERIOUS lack of portion control = Weight gain

I didn't weight in at Weight Watchers, but I did get on our scale and the number was not pretty.

So now that we're all caught up...I went back to WW this past Saturday and I was up 1 pound from the weight I was the previous weigh in (not the previous week, but the previous time I had gone to a meeting and stepped on the scale.)

At first, my heart sank. I was really upset with myself. I had diligently counted my points everyday and never went over. It was basically the total opposite of the week before. No more junk (at least no more unadulterated inhaling of junk) and serious portion control. Fruits and veggies were back in the rotation. I wondered how it happened. I have had weeks where I have stayed the same or gained, but I always felt like I knew it going into the weigh in. I walked out feeling wicked dejected. (PS- The b*tchy lady behind the counter didn't help my mood AT ALL)

Once I calmed down and was able to actually process my thoughts and emotions (and not just scream "FATSO!!" to myself over and over) I realized something important:

Despite my lack of weighing in at weight watchers the weekend before, I still had braved my scale and noted a 6 lb. weight gain. Yup, 6 lbs. Frightening, I know, but it's reality. I HATED seeing this number, but it did make me face the truth. Every other time I have screechingly halted my diet train, I have always justified it to myself somehow. This time that didn't seem possible. I knew my eating had put the number on the scale higher and there was no other reason.

AND if I had gained 6 lbs. during my week of gross, BUT was only 1 lb. higher when I weighed in at WW, that means I was actually down 5 lbs. from the week before. So even though I was really sad that I had gained weight since I had last weighed in, I was really excited that I had lost weight when I tried. Not only had I lost weight, but I did so after failing miserably the week before. I don't know if that has ever happened with me before. I'm pretty sure that in the past I never would have recovered from a week last that. It only would have been the first stop on the road to more weight gain.

I felt much better by the end of the day and have done well points wise this week so far. We'll see on Saturday how everything pans out.